Kept To Myself
by DDose
Summary: I never let him know how I really felt about this, I always just let him assume I loved  him as he did me. Never did I speak up, Until now...I wish I didn't do that


Title: Kept to myself

Fandom: OHSHC

Parring: Hikaru X Kaoru?

Rating:T

Warnings: Cursing, Sexualish Themes, Incest, Abuse, Gayness...

I sat on the bed I slept in for as long as I could remember, my twin, Hikaru, sitting beside me in silence. He looked at me and smiled, leaning on me he took me head in his hands and pushed our very similar lips together in a kiss. This happened too many times than it should have, the sad part is it usually want further, sometimes too far. But I always kept my opinions to myself, no matter what he did. He was my brother, my lover, I had no right to not give him what he wanted. But, I cant hold back forever, it had to stop soon. The supposedly fake brotherly love at the host club could stay, but the the real brotherly love at home, It had to stop. I pushed him away softly and shook my head. "Hikaru. . ." I muttered. "No, no more. . ." Hikaru smiled softly.

"Okay Kaoru, I can wait 'till tomorrow." He said laying down. I shook my head again.

"No, Hikaru, I can't tomorrow, Not again, not ever again" I said softly. He sat up with a look of surprise on his face.

"What do you mean Kaoru?"

"I mean I can't do it again, this, this is wrong. I cant do this with you."

"K-kao-" He choked on his words. "Kaoru. . . what, w-why? It's okay if people find out. I'll be here, so. . . so, you'll always have me if society rejects us. . ."

"That's not it Hikaru. I don't love you like this. That's all your feelings. Hikaru I've never loved you as more then a brother." My fist clenched, I knew he was thick headed, Never did I think this much.

"W-what. . .?" Tear formed in my brothers eyes as he shook. "You're lying! IF you never loved me like that then why did you let us go so far so many times!"

"I-i don't lie I-"Bullshit!" Hikaru cut me off. "If you don't lie then why are you saying you don't love me when you always told me you did!"

"Hikaru I never specified in what way I love you..." Hikaru shook with anger at my words. He jumped on me, pushing my back on the bed.

"You do love me, I know you do." He said angrily before pushing his lips on mine. I shook my head as he grabbed my wrist with both hands, he placed them both in one had pinning them above me. his tongue peaked out trying to gain entrance to my mouth which I rejected. Angrily he bit my lip until I bled causing me to gasp, His tongue forced it's way in my mouth. I bit the intruding muscle and he pulled away his face flushed with anger. He let go of my wrist and punched me in the jaw. Tears formed in my eyes as I tried to break free. He took his fist and punched me again, this time on my nose. He backed up and looked at me before staring in shock at what he had done. While I was able to I scrambled off the bed and ran to my room across the hall. I locked the door and slid against it falling to the floor. Bringing my knee's to my chest I cried and cried for a good hour. I was just trying to stand up for myself, I just wanted him to stop, I wanted to get across to him that I didn't want what he wanted.

"Kaoru. . ." Hikaru's voice came through the door. "Kaoru I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do that. . ." I didn't respond, I couldn't. "Kaoru, I'm really sorry, can you forgive me?" Can I forgive him, usually yes, no, No I can't, not anymore. "Kaoru I can't live without you. . . You are my life. if you're not in my life, It can no longer go on. .. Kaoru, I love you. . ." after that short speech I heard a loud bang and something drop to the floor. W-what was that? He wasn't serious about that was he? It was metaphorical right? Right? I cracked open the door slightly in fear he was going to jump out and attack me, instead of that, I saw Hikaru, laying on the hardwood floor, Gun in hand, with blood trailing from his head. I never wanted this. I wanted my brother, not a lover. now I have neither. . .

YO~

I was feeling in the mood to write something depressing ne? Is is depressing? IS IT~

Please say it is so. I'm bad at this v.v YUPP THEY ARE VERY OOC~ Love you~

R & R KAYYYY


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